Since I’ve gotten into training at Marcello's Indianapolis Jiu Jitsu academy, it is surprising to me how little TV I watch anymore. My best guess is that I have cut it down from 30 hours a week to probably 5 hours. And that is only the essentials, sports, weather, news…I barely miss it. Honestly, right now I am too sore to even think about it. I’m sore, but in a good way. I’m not injured. It is fantastic.

I think that as human beings we occasionally have a need for a dose of suffering. Some people have that need more so than others, obviously. Some folks seem to sabotage themselves constantly by abusing their bodies with substances or reckless behavior, all for the sake of a feeling. They feel good when they are drinking or acting out, and they enjoy it. They feel bad when they sober up or when the consequences of their behaviors catch up to them, and they enjoy those bad feelings as much or more than the good. We all know, or know of, these people. Many of us are this way. We get into the wrong relationships, doomed to fail from the very beginning, so that when they do we can indulge in some non-productive self-pity. Make people feel sorry for you, whatever. This type of self-imposed suffering is not healthy, though some folks just don’t seem to know any other way. They don’t seem to have the self-awareness to realize that after a few times of this cycle, people no longer really feel sorry for them, as those self-sabotaging people do for themselves. Others begin to find them to be whiny, and tend to avoid them if they can. If they can’t distance themselves from those “always suffering” folks, due to relation or whatever, then it becomes co-dependency and is a burden for all involved. It is a negative cycle, and no way to spend our brief time on this planet.

I occasionally need a dose of suffering in my life. It makes the good times better, makes the achievements more meaningful, having worked for them. But I have discovered a way to channel that occasional need into something positive. As I sit and write this, right now, I am suffering, believe me. My abs and neck are sore, my biceps are bruised, there is a scab on the top of one foot and a blister on the bottom of the other, and these wing-tip shoes that I’m wearing for work certainly aren’t helping. But I love it! As silly as it sounds, right now, in this circumstance, I have a love for pain. My Indianapolis Jiu Jitsu Professor, Marcello Monteiro, warned yesterday afternoon on his Facebook page that he would be training very hard that evening. He meant it. I showed up last night fully aware of that fact, as a willing and active participant. I meant it. Now, I suffer in a positive way, and it is fantastic. If you are still out there suffering in negative ways, or on someone else’s terms, I feel for you and I encourage you to try something different. Use your “love for pain” to advance yourself, your happiness, and your accomplishments. Life doesn’t have to be like that for you.

• By: Ryan Berry